There’s only one cliché that I refuse to believe: tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. It’s a popular excuse for people who refuse to get to know you better. So they look at your friends to come up with a collective impression of you. Friendship is one shallow and deep statement at the same time. Since it starts as a simple exchange of snacks and toys when we were kids, the way we define friendship evolves as we grow older.  

I have categorized different friends in 12 types:

Childhood Friend. Do you still remember the kid who made you cry, but you ended up calling each other best of friends. You play in school and every time you finish homework. This is the person whom you create new games, words, jingles and code names with. And after summer break ends, playtime becomes infrequent. You eventually meet other friends in your own new world.

New Friend. This is not time bound. Any person you first exchange names and stories with are called new friends. It is quite easier to talk about ourselves with newer friends, than those who we think know us more. A new friend will not likely lie to you, since it becomes innate for us to share who we really are. Unless this new friend is trying to portray another persona, he/she will likely lie about small things.

Old Friend. It’s a lifelong bond in specific segments such as grade school life, high school life, college life, office life etc. As we grow older, we meet different people and we slowly learn how to choose the ones we really want to be with. Old friends are the ones we don’t necessarily meet everyday, but we still keep the ties, no matter what.

Special-interest Friend. If you love dancing, you get your dancer friends. If you love photography, you have your photog friends. And if you love cars, you form a car club and call each other friends. These are the people who share the same interest and passion for specific activities/items with you. We don’t necessarily tell them our origin and life stories. Having fun and learning together are enough to keep a certain fondness to be together.

Confidante. Think about the person who knows all your secrets, your stories, your dark beliefs. A confidante may not necessarily be called a best friend. For me, it’s the kind of friend you feel more vulnerable with. He/she knows how you feel even before uttering a word. You feel comfortable enough to bare it all, but still confident that he/she will never betray you. Your friends may not necessarily know who your confidante is, because most of the time, we feel that the ones we call friends are the same people who will talk about us behind our back. A confidante has his/her own world apart from yours, which makes life-sharing more unusual…but cherished for a lifetime.

  

Wild Friend. You have to have a wild friend at some point in your life. This is the friend you just get drunk and have fun with. He/she is always easy to invite out for some silly laughter and manages to make you zone out from a problem. A wild friend shares crazy moments with you, but you know that he will never judge. Usually, this friend also considers you his wild friend. There are times when we get swamped with problems and we just really need someone who won’t interrogate us.

Online Friend. Email, YM, mIRC, ICQ, blogs etc. These social networks prove that having friends from anywhere in the world is now possible. Online friends are the ones we share our lives with…but only through cyber space. More often, we find a way to meet these people. However, the friendship comes out differently when the cyber barrier disappears.

Dormant Friend. Chances are, an old friendship springs back to life. No matter how ancient, dormant friends happen to pop out of nowhere and we feel as much excitement to bring back the old days. Stories are told over and over, and old jokes still tickle. If you have forgotten why you drifted apart, a trip back to memory lane will likely bring you closer together.

Common Friend. Ever heard of the “6 levels of separation”? These are the people we call friends just because this cousin of your classmate happens to be the girlfriend of his uncle’s niece, and so on… They don’t hold as much importance in our lives, but they come in very handy at times (name-dropping, for some; a source of juicy info, for most of us). Just make sure they know you exist.

Friends with Benefits. Oh no, don’t even think about it. This type of friendship does not necessarily mean “only sex and favors”. Oh c’mon. These friends may be as simple as the bouncer who lets you in for free, the building guard who hails a cab for you, or your friendly neighbor who brings you food. These friends are happy enough to help you. We just need to return a favor or two!

Good Times Friend. This friend may be a combination of a couple of other types mentioned above. The operative word is: happiness. Happy trips, happy talks, happy gimmicks and happy dinners. These are the friends we love to be with and you usually share the same wavelength. However, if they see a different side of you, it’s either they ditch you or they’ll keep you…but they can secretly laugh about you. Good times friendship ideally lasts…well, I guess it’s as long as they still enjoy your company.

Best friend. I am still struggling on how one should define a best friend. I guess for me, he/she should be a combination of all other 11 types – less the judging, betraying, and gossiping. More often than not, best friends may not treat us the same way. It is sad but somehow true. You may be the most trust-worthy listener of a good friend, but he/she may not be the same way towards you..or she considers someone else as her best friend. A Best friend is the one who wants to see you succeed; who won’t mind seeing you cry and be stupid at times; she is the person who tells it the way it is, no sugar-coating; she’s the person who lets your guard down; and most of all, she has faith in you.

For 24 years, I can say I already met the 11 kinds of friends…yet I still find it hard to define the last one. No matter how hard we try to be the “BEST” a friend we should be, as they say: to expect the world to treat us fairly is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.